Brutal feedback builds better things.
Paste your website. Bluntly finds the confusing parts, the conversion leaks, and the words worth changing—without pretending your generic headline is fine.
Free first look. No credit card. Your feedback stays yours.
Roast · analyze · improve
A brighter internet starts with honesty.
Better websites. Happier people.
A founder promise, not suspiciously perfect reviews
Funny, never fluffy
Every punchline points to a real problem.
Specific, not generic
Get the words to change and the order to change them in.
Private by default
Your roast becomes content only when you share it.
One irresistible action
From vague page to obvious next move.
No sprawling dashboard. No fifty-page report destined for a downloads folder. Just the truth, the repair, and a result worth sharing.
- 01
The roast
Blunt feedback on vague headlines, weak trust signals, buried offers, and every other thing visitors notice before you do.
- 02
The scorecard
A fast read on clarity, trust, and conversion—with one painfully obvious priority at the top.
- 03
The fix
Specific rewrites, stronger calls to action, and practical edits you can make without hiring a committee.
- 04
The share
A polished result made for screenshots, friendly humiliation, and attracting the next curious website owner.
5 seconds
to understand your offer
3 scores
clarity, trust, conversion
1 priority
so you know what to fix first
Pick your pain tolerance
Start curious. Upgrade when it stings.
Transparent one-off roasts for quick fixes, plus ongoing monitoring when your website is part of the job.
Quick Burn
Satisfy your curiosity.
$0
- 3 sharp observations
- 1 memorable roast
- Basic clarity score
Full Roast
Find the leaks and fix the words.
$9
- Full homepage teardown
- Rewritten hero section
- 10 headline alternatives
- CTA recommendations
Makeover
Turn the burn into a better offer.
$29
- Complete conversion review
- Homepage rewrite
- Offer positioning
- Email CTA and 30-day content ideas
Always On
For websites that never sit still.
$99/month
- Unlimited audits
- Weekly website monitoring
- Conversion experiments
- Competitor comparisons
Before you volunteer as tribute
Fair questions.
Your website is already being judged
You may as well hear the useful version.
Paste your URL and find the sentence, signal, or call to action quietly losing the room.
Roast my website free